Moving in...again?

Today was a day that I was going to be able to spend some time with Dad, and start a chicken coop project (I really don't like chickens) but I don't want them to freeze to death... do I? okay I don't. Dad had to go to town to get some equipment for what I don't remember, and does not pertain to the story. Anyway while Dad was in town Kristi and I, oh yes Kristi went too and mom and dad made us breakfast that was really good, waffles, bacon, orange juice and coffee and something else but my mind is a blank, actualy it isn't I just don't know how to spell (keesh).. spl?. Oh right back to the story gosh have some patience! uh hum- as I was saying Kristi and I decided to sort through some of our stuff that we had left in the storage unit and remove it from the property. Well when it was all said and done we had our car packed full of boxes, and when we got home it pretty much felt like we were moving in again. Oh one more thing Dad and I did get some of the coop put up but we had to leave to pick up Will. and now if we finish the coop the chickens wont freeze (darn it) um I mean yay.

in this time of life

There have been several times when I have spoken to people and they have expressed to me how they were going through a hard time, and they were not sure what it was God really wanted them to do. Well, I being a good christian brother gave the good advise that probably everyone else had been giving them "hang in there God will show you the way" or "God must just have another plan for your life" and another good one "This is just a valley you'll get out soon". Well I just recently found out something that pretty much broke my heart, i received an e-mail stating that I did not get a high enough grade on my pharmacology final, in the paramedic program I had a 73% and needed a 75% on this one particular test to continue with the program. Well upon reading this my heart immediately sank. My dream for the past two years, all my hard work, all the studying and the few clinical hours I had already done all for nothing! Why? that was the first thing that came to mind then the usual "this isn't far!" and then the thoughts of "how stupid am I" and "what now" well for the most part I heard the above "God will show you the way" and I thought to myself, well it's easier said than done. I have found a new appreciation for people who have gone through a similar time in their lives. I think the worst part about the whole ordeal is the feeling of being a failure I know deep down that I am not "STUPID" but when something like this happens you can't help but have those feelings. I am truly at a loss right now and not knowing what you are suppose to do is a really hard reality to face, if only I had a back up plan... but alas no plan B was put in order, because I thought that there could only be one plan! Another avenue that my brain has traveled in the way of thinking that really shouldn't happen but you really cant help but do and that is "if this door was closed how do I know or how can I be sure that the next door won't slam in my face?" after saying all this and thinking and praying about the whole situation I have come to realize that I am yes still very upset but I am also in a way relieved..... why? I can't explain I still wish I could be going to class but for some reason I have a sense of peace about the situation. I don't know what it is God has planned for me but I know that what ever it is, how big or how small I will try to follow where he leads.